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When Is It Time to Break Off a Friendship?
Many people think about establishing a friendly relationship, gaining trust, becoming close to others and so on. You will rarely hear from someone that he has a trouble breaking off a relationship. However, in some cases it is better to give up a friend for good because otherwise your friendship would only bring harm to both of you. I have experienced such moments in life, and that is why I know for sure that sometimes you have to find a way to let go of your friend, even if you thought the relationship would last forever.
First of all, I want to answer the question, what is it that people seek in friendship? It is the ability to communicate with another living soul, to share time and secrets, to offer a helping hand in a crisis. Scientific studies show that a person having a reliable friend usually has higher self-esteem. It is no wonder: humans are collective animals.
This point of view must give a solution to the problem of ending a relationship. Obviously, if a person fails to receive what he needs from his friend, their connection will sooner or later break. But it is not that simple. It may take years for an unwanted friendship to die away, and the laborious process may harm you to the deeps of your soul.
The first reason for breaking a friendship on purpose is betrayal. It may seem that only couples can break up because of betrayal, but it is not so. While in a romance betrayal has to do with choosing another person to be with, in a friendship it is about unwillingness to offer help during an ordeal. A friend in need is a friend indeed, as people got used to saying. It means that there is nothing to keep two people together if one of them is capable of leaving the other alone in a strangling situation.
Another case when it would be better to end a friendship as soon as possible occurs when you do not feel at ease near your friend. It is difficult to find a reasonable explanation why you want the relationship to cease. It was much easier with betrayal: you wanted to have nothing with a person you did not trust. But here you must find appropriate words to explain to your friend that you do not feel comfortable near him, although it is not his fault. This point is very important. You should emphasize that it is you who have problems with the friendship, not the other person. Otherwise you risk leaving an ex-friend with a wound he does not deserve.
You should also note that failing to feel at ease in a friendship is already a sign that the latter has to end. It would be worse if you kept pretending that everything was still fine and faked a smile on your face each time you saw your unwanted friend. You have to be sincere with yourself and the person you still have a connection with. Deceiving him with your feigned friendship should not be an option.
This essay had to show you that there are cases in which a friendship must inevitably come to an end. But you should also remember that many problems, fortunately, can be solved by means of mere communication. Discussing an unpleasant situation with your friend must be the first step, and in many instances it will become the last one too. But if you see that a friendship must be broken off, do not turn the process into a gradual and painful parting; on the contrary, try to dot the i’s and cross the t’s in a single conversation.